The Story of the Willow Tree as told by Sandy Herbert-Simpson

Artist's page on Etsy

"Blessings to you Idun.

My oldest daughters name is Willow and when we told my parents of our choice in names my father told me a story that he knew. We have Celtic ancestry so it may be a Celtic story but it also may be Dene Native from up in the north of Canada because my father spent many many years working up there ( I wish I knew its origins, sorry). I thought you would like to hear it.

The story goes that the Willow tree was once a young woman who could not bear a child, she tried and tried and always her babies would never take breath or be born at all. So sad was she that she prayed to the Great Mother for an answer. She sat on the river bank and wept for days waiting for her answer. The Great Mother came to her and told her that sometimes this is the way of the world and that is was not because of her or to punish her it just was. Well the woman could not understand this or why it must just be, so she told The Great Mother how unfair she was to be so cruel to the woman, The Great Mother replied that she was not being cruel and unfair to the young woman that many women live this truth. The woman told The Great Mother that she just could not bear this knowledge at all and that she would always be consumed with sorrow and grief for those women and herself and so the Great Mother turned her into a Willow tree to weep for all of the unborn children and the grief that their mothers have for them for eternity.

When you said you had named your daughter Willow I remembered this story and thought it was so fitting :) that she be named for the tree that stands and weeps for all of the unborn children. I hope this story helps a little.

May the Goddess always smile upon you and yours.
Sandy
Avalonschild"

Sandy - Thank you so much for sharing this with me and for giving me permission to share it on the blog!

Doh!

These are the seeds from my Ostara Apple Offering to the Goddess. I knew it was important for me to look at and document the seeds - I just didn't know WHY... there are three unsprouted seeds and one sprouted seed. I knew the sprouted seed had to do with new life... something new being born or created... I just never expected to fall pregnant this year! Also, look at how the seeds are grouped. The first two at the top are my first two children, born a year apart (1995,1996). The third is Miranda (born in 2002) and the fourth is 'beanie'... due on the 28th of June, 2011. WOW!!!!

Thank Goddess!

Because my last pregnancy was nearly a decade ago, I find myself taking stock of how I'm different mentally and emotionally this time around. I can honestly say that I have the Goddess to thank for being much stronger today than I was 8-9 years ago. Connecting with Goddess energies and honouring the Goddess within has made a world of difference.

I was clinically depressed during most of my third pregnancy, and actually got better post partum. I hated being pregnant, I feared giving birth and I hated my body. Luckily, I was able to get help from a good councelor. I was made to see one when I begged for a cesarian. One of my biggest fears was that the midwife wasn't going to be there during the pushing stage. Swedish hospital had already begun to experience staffing problems when my first child was born, and by the time I found out I was pregnant with my third, I had already lived through the hell of going through the transition phase and the first couple of pushes on my own... having to desperately shout to get somebody's attention.

Ironically, I went through the very same scenario with my third as well - at least I was better prepared this time. I swore to myself like a seargeant would to a bunch of useless squaddies. Anger works better than fear. Yep, the third delivery was the best by far.

Physically, I'm different too this time around, of course. But not that much. I'm yearning to get back into belly dancing again, and I'd love to try dancing my way through the entire pregnancy as well as the early stages of labour. Dancing ties all the spaces together for me - it's a way of connecting the dots between the spiritual and the physical.

You're Trapped!

Even though I feel lucky and blessed... I wake up sometimes and think that 9 months from now, the baby will need me almost all of the time. I will go from having quite a lot of me-time to being the world to someone who depends on me for everything.

I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and I really want to enjoy this pregnancy, but I can't fool my brain into believing that the last couple of months aren't going to be uncomfortable. I remember all too well how difficult it was to sleep when the bump got bigger. I will it to be different this time. I will myself to be more patient and kinder to myself. I will myself to delegate more.

Deep breath.

Then I think about how quickly the first year passes... and before you know it they are out of nappies. And I remind myself that there is nothing to keep me from being creative once the baby is born. I can still write and be inventive.

It's going to be different this time... only I don't know how yet. Many unknowns for me to leave in the loving hands of the Goddess. I feel better already for having shared these thoughts. Hey, it's OK to be a bit freaked out about having your body hijacked!

My grandmothers feel close tonight - it's All Souls Night after all and I ask for their blessing on this new life. I think about generations of mothers and grandmothers with gratitude. May their wisdom not be lost. May we return to the ways of the Ancient One.

If I had only one wish tonight it would be for the insanity to stop... for patriarchy to die and for harmony to be restored.

Honouring the Feminine

As a woman I have been programmed not to trust my body. Patriarchy tells us that we as women should be ashamed of our monthly cycle. We should be ashamed of the feminine scent - apparently it is better to smell like strawberries than a real woman. We should suppress our reproductive system by adding chemically produced hormones that cause long term damage to our bodies.

As for pregnancy, we are told not to reveal that we are pregnant until it can no longer be hidden (three months is the 'socially acceptable' time to wait). Why? So that we won't be talking about a possible miscarriage later on? And God forbid that we mention having had an abortion or reveal the deep grief that goes with losing a baby at or right after birth!

If we are made to feel ashamed of all these natural bodily functions and occurrences, we are stripped of our Goddess power. In order to create true equality, we need to begin by honouring our bodies. By casting off the masks of shame.

Once we own the strength that comes from naturally flowing with our cycles and the initiatory power that comes from giving birth as well as grieving lost babies and failed pregnancies, we awaken to the power of our inner Goddess. The feminine body is the ultimate expression of the Goddess on this planet. We would all do well to listen to its messages.

Hail the Great Goddess who expresses Herself in each and every one of us! Blessed be! )O(

I'm pregnant!

After realising that I was 2-3 days late, and knowing full well that I'm never late unless I'm pregnant, I went and bought a pregnancy test kit. The disbelief lingers. It wasn't planned... but then I never really did plan any of my other three pregnancies (and secretly wonder how it is possible to plan one). Please understand that not planned never equals 'not wanted' in my book. I told the Goddess a while back to only allow for a fourth pregnancy if and when the time was right. There is a soul on the other side of the veil that has chosen me and my partner... and I feel so graced.

It's now about 7.50 PM, and I have known about the pregnancy since about 1.30 PM. I'm sat here typing to allow it all to sink in. I'm typing so that I can give thanks properly for the grace of going through the miracle of pregnancy and childbirth one last time (or so it feels). I'm typing to be in the present moment with the immense joy that I feel when I allow for it.

It's difficult to know who to tell at this stage. Part of me wants to shout it from the rooftops, and another part of me wants to make sure that everything will be alright first - as if there is something I could do or as if more time would somehow make it alright... I'm going to make an executive decision and decide that it is alright to go with the flow on that... My intuition will guide me about who will be positive about it. The last thing I want or need right now is other peoples' negativity. I can feel a cull coming on.

I have told my sister already. I wanted her to be the first to know besides my partner since she psychically predicted this pregnancy the other week. Needless to say, she wasn't surprised :)

Some of them might think that I'm too old for another child, but not many eyebrows are raised over pregnancy at 40 these days. Personally, I'm not worried about statistics. I'm grateful for being more experienced and a lot less anxious these days. I know I can do this...

I chose to illustrate today's post with the Empress card - my Soul Card. I'm a tarot reader and healer, so you can expect a spiritual twist to the posts over the next 9 or so months.