22 Days to Go - 22 Archetypes to Help me Heal
The 30th of June or thereabouts is when Willow was supposed to have been born. I'm getting dangerously close to her due date now and am dreading it a bit.... Little, seemingly insignificant things can still trigger waterfalls of tears... Like the other day when I spent a lovely day out in York... until I went to the toilet in a little cafe where they had created a pretty rose-themed nappy changing area. Somehow seeing the matching roses on the wallpaper and changing mat made me lose my marbles. I suppose it will always be like this... A loss is a loss until we are reunited on the other side.
On the due date, I will plant a weeping willow to commemorate my angel baby. There was a time when I thought I wanted to do that with Willow's father but that will not be possible, nor is it any longer desirable. He is too busy caring about nobody but himself, which is the reason he left in the first place, so it is for the best that I never see him again. Grieving is hard enough without having to be made to feel like you are shit under someone's shoe - especially when you've done nothing to deserve it but lovingly carried that person's baby under your heart for three months.
I am more than a survivor. I am free. I have found happiness in my life again and I look to the future with hope and excitement... I know I might wobble on the 30th but I know that my beautiful Willow will be with me beyond that date and forever. Her love is real and so is the love of the one I am with now.
In the next 21 Days I will be 'The Fool,' journeying through the Major Arcana for healing and closure.
